Aka, my juvenile ball Python. (Pocket dragon)
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Pocket dragon? Does that mean you can carry it in your pocket and take them out when needed, like to bite a misogynist, racist, or fascist?
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That’s the idea! I’m training her! 
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Will your garden noodle be available for holding?
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Of course! She is a very friendly little snek. She likes to sit in your hand or wrap around your wrist.
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@Lady_Ren she is cute! I had a pet garter snake in middle school. I would feed her goldfish.